Ok guys, it's me updating for myself this time ^_^
Yesterday was Friday, for my school, it was National Day celebrations and stuff, so yea.
The drama team ( including me ) were to perform for the school,
kinda nervous, but the crowd were superb ^_^

Erm, yea, had to spray my hair golden again, alot of people said I looked like a gangster, and alot of ppl say it was nice ^_^

THANKS YOU GUYS ! :D

Oh ya, after that, we went to WhiteSands to practice a script, with my golden hair, and I noticed alot of ppl looking and stuff, so yea ^_^

I was seated and kids kept running past me, and it's the same ppl over and over again ^_^
It was as if they were afraid of me, cause they always pause at my side, and run past.
Once, the little girl even had an adult walk up to her b4 she ran across ^_^

GOSH ! I just love babies and dogs so much ^_^
Adorable little things ^_^

Oh well, after that, came home, no one at home and I forgot my keys, so I just sat at my doorsteps till I fell asleep, lying on the doorstep, and suddenly 2 guys walked past and I woke up, lalala, so on so forth.

So I sat and waited, almost 3 hours ..?

Oh ya so I was still sleepy but it was weird sleeping outside the house, so I leaned on some wall thingy where u can look out.

I found myself staring down 9 storeys.

Suddenly, a voice inside my head forced me to jump.
It was controlling my hands, and I found my body wanting to jump, it was wanting to move to a jumping position, sitting on the ledge.

It was so frightening ... it wasn't the first time the voice spoke in my head, and it was as if my body and my mind wanted to listen to it, but the me, the heart of hearts, the soul's soul, the real inside of me, the core ... it spoke, it was battling my whole body, controlling my motions and doing what I wanted to do.

I teased the voice.
I leaned on the ledge and stared out, letting it try to control me, while I held on.

Scary, but then again, I made it .. ^_^

Everything flashed by me then, friends, family, and suddenly the reasons for me to jump flooded into my mind ...

Then I remembered the praises people said to me, my friend's laughter, the happiness in my life ...

Though there is more sadness than happiness, I treasure the happiness ... like how I try to make JH laugh at least twice everytime we talk, how Charmaine would suddenly burst out singing for no reason, Chloe's giggling, Hezzer's hyperactiveness, my classmates, Justin's unique jokes that make me laugh ... These were the people that made me wake up and got control over myself.

I walked away.
Wolffang scribbled at Saturday, August 07, 2004.